Trust No One

What is trust anyway? An emotion? A humane desire? A need? Can it be bought or bartered for? Am I the only one with this affliction?

My trust has always been true. To friends, my children and my family members. It wasn’t until recently, this week as a matter of fact, that I have had to look closer at myself about my trust issues. A Facebook friend, not even one whom I know personally but whom I had enjoyed his adventures as a treasure hunter, made me take a serious look at myself. Regrettably I accused him of wrongdoing and for that I am ashamed.

Until now I never really thought much about how I became so mistrusting over the years. has become my only way of life, a necessity. It has never dawned on me why I even find it comforting to vacation alone but looking back I have now taken a trip with anyone in almost 5 years.

My ex husband was probably the first person that betrayed my trust. Spending money we didn’t have, fulfilling his material needs while allowing us to fall into bankruptcy and coming close to losing our home.

In 2009 I had to deal with breast cancer and decided to seek medical treatment in a foreign country due to the lack of insurance. I had always heard that the American Cancer Society was there for those whom had no support, my calls went unreturned. I was so fearful of the outcome or of dying alone that I offered to pay a friend’s expenses to accompany me to Peru for treatments. This woman whom I thought to be the truest of friends. I paid every expense imaginable for her to come with me for my double mastectomy. I took out a second mortgage for my medical needs as well as our travel expenses. I paid for her passport, flight, meals, transportation as well as her living expenses while in Lima. It wasn’t until she visited a local dentist there while I was in my doctors care, ordered veneers for her new smile and left me holding the $700 bill, did I realized I could not even trust my one close friend in my life. At that time I sent her back to the states and have never spoken to her again.

My family made no effort to help in any way. I know they felt sorry for me but not one relative ask “How can I help”? Yes, living 8 hours away didn’t help and it’s understandable that everyone has their own lives, troubles and needs to deal with in their own lives but, come on! The devastation of learning you have cancer is a life changing event, one that deserves at least a hug. I even had to pay someone to pick me up at the airport upon my return home. This issue remains a thorn in my side to this day.

To make matters much worse, upon my return I found that my job aboard a salvage vessel had also fell to the way side. Not only was my position gone but the $25,000 loan to the company was in jeopardy of being repaid. Eventually this was recovered but not after having to threaten to confiscate the boat and the trust I had put into my employer completely demolished. Someone whom I dearly cared for, looked up to and had trusted entirely.

This was at a time when the economy had dropped to a new low, jobs hard to find, salary’s less than adequate and lives being destroyed across the country.

At times my power was in danger of being shut off, my home threatened by foreclosure and my life spiraled down to the deepest depths of depression from PTSD and the need and craving for help. I made bad decisions, looked for the wrong answers and slowly lost myself and my self-respect. There was no one there to help pull me back up. The man I was involved in at the time looked the other way as well.

Over these next few years I was so ashamed of what my life had become that I avoided the friends I had once had and made sure not to make any new ones. I could not hold a job for more than a few months and my contentious fear of loosing my job became so extreme it actually cost me my jobs. I spent my days in bed and nights unable to sleep.

I made some major changes along the way. I had to move to another state to find work. Fortunately I found excellent renters for my home and my cousin was on the other end to help pick up the pieces. After a year and a half I though I could return and make my life as it had been in better days. It didn’t happen. I strived to make a better life by starting a new business although I put an extreme amount of money and work into it as well as my heart, it failed. After a while I, once again, ran away to Central America alone for 6 weeks backpacking.

What kind of life is this? A very sad and lonely one. The avoidance of men for companionship, due to my surgery, has become the norm. My only social life I am able to endure and feel comfort is through communication and posts on the social media networks.

How is one to deal with trust issues? Trust again and endure more disappointments or live with no expectations of another person?


Solo Travelers, Are We Safe?

Is it safe for the single female to travel through Central America? It depends on who you ask.

Deciding to get “off the grid” 6 months ago took me to the quaint little island off of Nicaragua, Little Corn Island, for a week. Located about 50 miles east of the Caribbean coast of Nicaragua and only about 1.5 sq miles in size, but an oasis of tranquility, and a refreshing break from the hustle and bustle of the U.S. The only fear that registered was driving through Miami to the airport.

I arrived on Little Corn Island at sunset on a local Panga boat and all I could do was smile from ear to ear. This little island had more personality than anything I had come across in a long time.
He dropped me onto the sand beach and the most unique tropical island complete with local dogs running loose, the smell of lobster grilling and music coming from one of the few cafe/bars on the island. Lobster being the main export certainly was a plus right at arrival and dinnertime.

There were no cars on the island which means no roads which means no street lights so I was glad I had done my homework and had brought my flashlight for walking after dark down the sidewalk. I was welcomed by friendly, fast speaking locals, expats and those like myself, whom were on a new adventure in uncharted territory. What a hoot! Being a boat captain and long time scuba diver I felt right at home on this lush, remote paradise minus the comfort of a/c. The island’s generator had gone down that morning and still was not working by the time I left.

Being a female and traveling alone, I sometimes get funny looks or a shocked expression but I love to travel alone and there on Little Corn never did I feel uncomfortable or threatened. Of course I am always aware of my surroundings and make sure I don’t find myself in any seedy areas alone and always keep my belongings close.

My days were spent diving, snorkeling, exploring the island, reading in the waterfront hammocks and watching the kids play in the water with their friends and dogs. Afternoons were spent at one of the openair cafe’s waiting for the hotel’s backup generator to kick on to enjoy a cool shower and a short nap before the nightlife picked up.

The local fishermen could be seen daily sitting in the shade preparing bait for their lobster pots while the recently established police department’s patrol woman stopped by the establishments making small talk.
This was the life on Little Corn and I hope to make it back again in the near future but I have learned a few things if I should go back…. travel extra light, bring good walking shoes because you will be walking where ever you go, bring the bug spray (although the bugs were not bad at all while I was there) and make sure to bring your appetite for some wonderful seafood, rice, fruit and black beans.

In the months ahead I could not get Little Corn off of my mind after returning home to Florida. So I am now crossing the country of Guatemala. On the road for almost a month now, I say “yes” it is safe. However, I am always cautious with my belongings as in any country.

After arriving in Guatemala City, my first destination was Antigua, just 45 minutes away. Spending my first afternoon getting accustomed to new surroundings was a great experience. Cobblestone streets, horse drawn buggy’s and a mixture of travelers from all over the world coexisting in harmony.

The first night walking the streets after dark, sent me into an unusual paranoid state. The glow from the low watt street lamps gave me a feeling of foreboding as well as the local men gathered in doorways of bars and on street corners. I took an early dinner and returned to my hotel and comfort zone.

Over the next few days I began to relax and enjoy the smell of fresh baked bread, shoe polish from the shoeshine boys and even the horse hung.

The women I interviewed here also had no fear of being in Guatemala alone and most felt confident and safe. Surprisingly there are many women traveling solo throughout Guatemala. Some have settled in Guatemala for extended stays and the majority have visited several countries and have an extended itinerary or have found a community they felt comfortable in and put down roots.

How are they financially able to stay? The cost of living in Central America is very affordable, much more than the states. Many women have homes which they rent to long term tenants. This can easily be enough to travel comfortable for quite a while. One female backpacker had been traveling 4 years from the income of her rental home in Sydney, Australia. Her average cost per year, for her travels, was $25,000. Others have internet businesses or work locally as yoga instructors and, of course, teachers.

Lake Atitlan, where the Rainbow get’s it’s colors

The word Atitlán is a Mayan word that translates as “the place where the rainbow gets its colors”. The village residents are mostly indigenous, Cakchiquel Mayas.
Lake Atitlán is situated at an altitude of 5118 ft., located in the Western Highlands of Guatemala and approximately four hours from Guatemala City. The lake was formed 150,000 years ago when Tolimán, after years of building pressure, discharged in a violent expulsion of magma, ash and sand. The eruptive column reached heights of 25 to 34 miles and dispersed ash over an area from Florida to Ecuador. So much magma had been expelled that only an empty cavity remained. The area collapsed due to the weight of the earth above it forming the the 11 mile diameter caldera. The caldera filled over time with rainwater and sediment to create the present lake of today and at it’s deepest depth is 340 miles.

Seismic activity has been low in the last decade, but volcanic activity does influence relatively long-period fluctuations in the lakes level. Due to changes, caused by a rising and falling of the silt layer at the bottom of the lake, cycles of volcanic activity and inactivity has caused an approximate 50-60 year cycle.
The main village along Lake Atitlán would be Panajachel, Lake Atitlán’s most visited town and transport hub for the whole lake. A large part of the successful tourist infrastructure.
San Pedro La Laguna has become the poplar destination for backpackers and known for a laid-back hippyish small town as well as the indigenous local residents.
San Marcos La Laguna is well known as the village of meditation. Offering reiki, yoga, massages, aromatherapies, Chinese health therapies, reflexology, meditation, holistic treatments and other new age therapies.
On the south side of the lake is Santiago, the largest community around the lake where many still practice many of the old traditions. The main street up from the dock offer stores and stands where the local artisans sell wooden and other handcrafted products. The town offers a small variety of quality hotel-restaurants, although not as widely poplar as some of the other busy villages, this small town is famous for a shrine to Maximón.
Santa Cruz La Laguna, located on north side of Lake Atitlán and has been growing in popularity recently.
San Juan La Laguna is considered the hub for its natural colored dyed fabrics and clothing. Agriculture is most important for the economy as well with the service sector growing, especially as the number of tourists increase.
There are a total of 12 villages on the lake and all are just a boat ride away.

Guatemalan Busses, not just for the Chickens any more

The colorful busses seen across Guatemala are commonly know as Chicken Busses. The used school busses are acquired from the U.S. They are then “pimped” out by their owners, adorned by special stripes, logos and shiny aluminum accessories inside and out. Tires with custom wheels roll these spirited busses along most towns and highways.

In the past these busses were known to carry passengers who transported chickens high above on the roofs of the busses.

Locals prefer the cheap rates equivalent to .30 and the drivers make certain it is filled to 120% capacity. Afternoon passengers include school children, women and men all loudly chattering in Spanish as they get on and off. These busses can be seen careening around the curves of the highlands winding around the mountains and volcanos with little regard to comfort or safety.

Teachers in Guatemala Protest in the Streets

Thousands of teachers protested on the streets of Guatemala on Thursday, January 23 demanding more funds for education. Major roads were blocked by protestors throughout Guatemala as teachers burned old tires and nail riddled boards. Traffic was haunted and vehicles were not allowed to pass. The leader of STEG, one of the teaching unions calling the protest, said, “We don’t want there to be schools without programs or students without food.”
The teachers believe 35% of the budget should be spent on education – at this time the figure is 16%. As well as demanding a pay increase, the teachers are also calling for money for school supplies and school meals.

The minimum wage in Guatemala is the equivalent of approximately $500 per month. Teachers in Guatemala earn $440 a month on average, although many are on temporary contracts and earn only half that amount.

A Colorful Look at Antigua, Guatemala

Arriving into Guatemala City, I was met by my private car and a friend of a friend who is going to store my scuba diving gear for a few weeks. A 45 minute ride takes me to the Colonial City of Antigua, Guatemala. My first stop and a wonderful surprise where I will spend the next 9 days. A beautiful, but crumbling, city bustling with all walks of life. in the center of town is the Central Plaza where local men, women and children congregate selling, very aggressively, their wares until late. The colorful scarves, wristbands and jewelry can be acquired for just a few Quetzals but you must work at getting the best price. Considered a backpackers dream destination.
The cobblestone streets make walking a treacherous endeavor but well worth it. If your not up to walking there are many modes of travel. The tuktuks are a cheap ride but bumpy or the slow horse drawn buggy can be found around the busy central park.
Although I stayed at several hostels, the Holistico Hostal

 is my favorite so far. A wonderful place, not only to lay your head, but to meet and enjoy new friends and trade travel stories. The accommodations are clean and well taken care by the hard working, respectful employees. A wide variety of breakfast options are is served daily in just a matter of minutes and the relaxing atmosphere is a welcoming change to the fast pace of Antigua. Come and enjoy. Sergio Martinez, the owner, is the host with the most! Make early plans to stay additional nights because Hostal Holistico has a large following with many who return time and time again.

Although nights come alive with the sound of music drifting out of the pubs and restaurants the streets are somewhat dark and can be a little intimidating until you get used to it. Antigua is a party town for the young and old alike and bars stay open until late I to the night.
Off the beaten path, outside of Antigua, you will find the small city of Partanos where custom leather boots are made within days to your specifications. The prices will astound and is usually around $30 and up. Very well made with the exact heel height you want as well as the type of leather.
Only a few kilometers outside of Pastores is the Aquas Calientes, or hot springs where the incoming volcano waters can soothe and heal the body. Located at the base of volcanoes And hidden off of the highway, a short walk down a dirt road you will arrive at the entrance. At only Q10 or $1.25 to enter, it is a special treat and one will leave feeling refreshed.

Bloody Mary will Travel

Airports all over the world offer wonderful Bloody Mary’s in the bars and restaurants. It may be because many travelers need that pep to get relaxed before their next flight or maybe just because they’re the best made by the bartenders of the jet set. For what ever reason they are good, pack a punch and they are expensive. Don’t leave home without it!